What Was Missing

Watching a YouTube video today, reiterated the fact that just because everything looks perfect on most days or just because someone is wealthy, doesn’t mean they have the greatest home life. When you watch YouTube videos, you see exactly what that person wants you to see and you know what they want you to know. People like to make assumptions, but they don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

I won’t mention the YouTuber that I am talking about and would appreciate it if no one left any names in the comments. But, I do want to discuss what I heard and didn’t hear.

This YouTuber was talking about how she has been plagued with anxiety in the past. She worked through it for a long time, but now it has returned in full force. What surprised me was when she divulged that the things that bring her peace are: her kids, her dog, yoga and running.

This is a woman who has been married for many years. Her husband used to frequently make appearances on her channel. They always seemed to be very happy together and then a few key things changed. 1. He has been promoted to the CEO of his company which means he is working long hours and is away from home a lot. 2. She gave birth to two children.

So, we frequently see her working on scrapbook projects where her husband’s face doesn’t make it in the books nearly as often as her own. The kids are the main focus of these books. We see her taking solo trips which she never did before. It seems that because she likes things done a certain way both around the house and with the children, her husband has had to take a back seat. Add to this the fact that he can’t do some things because he has a few medical issues. She pretty much does everything. I believe this has been her choice for the most part though.

So, let’s get back to that important statement that she made in her most recent video: the things that bring her peace are her kids, her dog, yoga and running. No mention of the husband.

I have been asked many times since I have been on YouTube how Kevin and I have such a strong marriage. I always say the #1 ingredient in a successful marriage is respect and I still believe that, but also, you have to make each other #1 and your kids #2. Period. Full stop. That’s a hard pill for some people, women especially, to swallow, but it’s just the truth. Your spouse is your soul mate. Long after your kids are gone and married or have lives of their own, your spouse is still going to be there. You have to keep the lines of communication open. You have to be able to relate to each other and talk about everything. Your spouse should be your best friend who you can talk to about anything. There should be no secrets if you trust and respect them completely. The kids have to take second place. In the end, all you will have is each other. The other three things – the dog, yoga, and running, my goodness, those are all great, but we all know they won’t last forever.

Seeing this side of this YouTuber was an eye opener. She is very wealthy, her house is paid for, she gets a new car every few years and she travels constantly. I really thought she had it made. I still love her and will watch her videos without fail, but I will no longer wonder what it would be like to be in her shoes. My shoes fit me perfectly, thank you.

4 Replies to “What Was Missing

  1. Sometimes when we think someone has it all they really don’t.. I would give up having millions for the marriage I have that’s the most important thing to me is too have a good husband someone you can trust in and talk to about anything I maybe a exception to this a bit no kids here but we are both disabled and we both have sit in intensive care holding each other’s hand and praying because it’s not going so well. If I didn’t get along well and enjoy spending time with my husband I would be miserable living in the north means winter months are hard on us. we get out for Christmas and then maybe new years eve too watch fireworks but then I don’t leave my home till maybe valentine day or around then. I have no desire to be in below zero and ice and snow I am afraid of sickness and falling. We do have our dog he’s the apple of my eye and I do have a person whom visits us daily and helps with anything I maybe needing and she spends about five hours a day here accumulative. Guess I am saying I think my shoes fit my feet pretty well too.. Have a blessed day and wonderful life… Hope you are living the best life possible it’s too short for anything else ☺️🌼🌹

    1. Thank you for your comment! You made such a great point. Kevin and I get along like you and your husband. I remember when our furnace stopped working a few years ago and I told people on a vlog that we were locked in the bedroom for days together (we used a space heater in our room). People left comments saying that they couldn’t stand to be locked up together for that length of time. I thought, I could be locked up with Kevin forever. He is my favorite person in the whole world. There is no one else I would rather be with. I can tell you feel the same way about your husband. That’s the way it should be 🙂

  2. I think when people say you should put your marriage first, it means that you have to LOVE your husband more than your children and they cannot wrap their heads around that. The love is so different and I don’t think it’s a more than less than type of thing. My relationship with my husband comes first and our children thrive because of that. They see a team and they will learn to respect marriage and the bond that will form.

  3. I too watch this woman, I’ve watched her since she started her older channel. I absolutely loved her daily vlogs she posted through the years, but as years have passed and she had kids, I too noticed quite a big change in her. Especially in relation to her husband. I sure hope everything works out, either way I will continue to watch her as well. I am glad I’m not the only one who has noticed the change.

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