From The Past: May 11, 2009

The following letter is in today’s Dear Abby column:

DEAR ABBY:

 My son will graduate in June from a college in the Northeast. We live way down south. I am sending a few invitations to announce the occasion. No one is expected to make the trip for the event.

 If people send only congratulatory cards, is a thank-you in order if no gifts are received? — GRAD’S MOM

DEAR MOM:

 You should not send an invitation to anyone you know will not attend the graduation ceremony. To do so would seem like a bid for a gift. Instead, send a graduation announcement. According to “Emily Post’s Etiquette”: “Recipients of any kind of announcement are not expected to give gifts, though they may want to send a congratulatory note or card.”

When someone does something nice for someone else, it deserves to be acknowledged. If your son receives a card congratulating him on his graduation, he should take a moment and drop the sender a note saying, “Thank you for remembering me at this special time in my life.”

I could not agree with this more, “You should not send an invitation to anyone you know will not attend the graduation ceremony. To do so would seem like a bid for a gift.”

No truer words were ever spoken! You would not believe the invitations my family receives for out-of-state graduations, weddings, receptions, and birthdays. The people who send these invitations know we won’t be able to attend! Of course they are only expecting a gift. It’s tacky!