From The Past: September 21, 2008
I see roadside memorials daily. When I see them, they make me sad. If I did not know the person who the memorial is for, I often wonder what happened, how they died. If I did know the person or the circumstances under which they died, I relive all the details I know in my mind.
Each and every time I see these roadside memorials, I think about:
* the time of day they died
* the season
* if it was daylight or dark
* what they might have been doing
* what they might have been discussing
* where they were going
* the family they left behind
Honestly, I would rather confine these thoughts to the cemetery. It is hard enough knowing these people are no longer here with us. I grieve them enough without having roadside memorials.
Roadside memorials remind us of the worst part of that person’s life. Do we really want a constant reminder of their tragic death?
If families have these roadside memorials to warn others of the dangers of driving certain roads, they are actually doing a disservice to drivers because the memorials often cause a person to take their eyes from the road.
I know of a teenager who was brutally killed one morning while skipping school with his buddies. He was only 17 years old. That was in 1984. His parents buried him in the cemetery, but they kept his memory alive at home.
The cemetery gives us a place to visit our loved ones. Even though we know their soul has moved on, the cemetery gives us a place to honor them. This is the final resting place for their body; not the roadside.
I am sure to make some people mad by stating this opinion. I have not personally lost a loved one in a car accident, but I do think I would rather not pass that memorial every day and get emotional all over again. I don’t see how these memorials can make the family member joyful when it stands for such a catastrophic event.
I have also begun seeing an abundance of car memorials: https://farm3.static.flickr.com/2194/2265945112_3cbf6c0fb7.jpg?v=0
I know everyone has their own way of grieving and I would never tell you your way is wrong, but I do wonder why the memorials have been placed on the window of a car.