Hard To Swallow

From The Past: July 2, 2007

I was able to stay with mom for about four hours today and could have stayed with her longer had she not rushed me off. She kept saying, “You need to go. You’ve been here for a long time.”

She just doesn’t understand there is no other place I would rather be. I sat in the chair at her bedside as she laid there with her eyes closed and I just enjoyed being with her, watching her. We talked some, but we didn’t have to talk the whole time. She knew that I was there for her and that’s all that mattered.

I was able to convince the doctor to let me stay in the room while they drained more fluid from her lungs. That was a first for him, but I think I proved to him that I wasn’t going to get dramatic during the procedure.

The procedure was painful for mom and she jerked away as he did his work even after he had numbed all he could. After it was over, he told us there are lots of nerves between the ribs and you just can’t numb every one.

I’m sure she will have to have that procedure again and I feel so sorry for her. It had to have been awfully painful for her to have jerked away and even call out.

As bad as that was though, they did it for her. They did it so she could breathe easier and get out of the CCU and into a normal room. This will help her.

After she had her lung drained, they took an x-ray. Later someone came in and put in a PICC line. This is like the indwelling catheter that she has near her collarbone; only this was placed in her arm. The nurse had to cover her entire body with a sterile paper, so I was glad I was in the room so she would hear a familiar voice while her face was covered.

The nurses now have five places to take blood, give medicine, chemotherapy and so forth. They said the PICC line was added for chemotherapy treatments.

After the nurse placed the PICC line, she ordered another x-ray. She said they had to make sure she placed it in the right place.

Mom looked at me after these things were done and asked, “Is there an end to all this? This is just unbelievable.”

When she used the word unbelievable, she was referring to finding out that she has Leukemia. It was only a few weeks ago that she and dad celebrated their anniversary, were eating nice dinner’s out together, holding each other at night, and kneeling at the foot of their bed praying. In an instant, everything in her life changed.

This is hard to swallow.

One Reply to “Hard To Swallow”

  1. I have some memories of my mother going through cancer too Tami, and it’s the hardest thing ever so I understand this post more than you know. I lost mom in 2010 and now I’m facing some really rough times health wise right now too. Life is just so hard. Thank you for sharing this.

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