From email:
- Blaming your “gas leaks” on me… not funny… not funny at all!!!
- Yelling at me for barking.. I’M A DOG, that’s D – O – G!
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it!
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
- Taking me to the vet for “the big snip” or a “needle”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
- Getting upset when I sniff the private parts of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven’t you noticed the fur?
- Now lay off me on some of these thing’s, we both know who’s boss here!!! You don’t see me picking up your poop do you???