From email:

*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

*Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

*Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

*Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

*Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

*If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are

always white?

*Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that

something new to eat will have materialized?

*Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

*Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

*How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

*When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”

*Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off

the table you always manage to knock something else over?

*In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

*How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

*The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.