I have an interesting story to tell you and I am eager to read your responses. This is one I would not tell during a vlog on my YouTube channel.
I have two friends who I will call Judy and Missy.
Judy, Missy and I were sitting around talking when Judy says to Missy, “Would you like to have these tickets? They are to the upcoming Christian Conference and since I no longer believe in any of that, I don’t need them.”
Missy turns to Judy and asks, “What do you mean you no longer believe in any of that?”
Judy then explains she has thought long and hard about the church and religion and she has come to the conclusion that she is Atheist. She then explained that she didn’t want to spend time at a Christian Conference and have to pretend.
Missy then replied with, “Well, I guess I will still be your friend.”
Really? Seriously? Are ya kidding with me? It never occurred to Judy that their friendship would even come into play and why would it? What does their friendship have anything to do with Judy announcing her beliefs?
It’s not like she’s going to grow a set of horns, worship the devil and kill babies. I mean, REALLY?! This came as a complete surprise to me as well although it shouldn’t have. In my personal experience, unfortunately, Christians or people who attend church can be the most judgmental people. I know that’s a bold statement, but that has been my personal experience. I loved my mom dearly, but she was extremely judgmental. It’s a fact.
Back when my dad smoked, he was told he could not be a member of a certain church for that reason. Another family member was rejected at a different church because of tattoos. I friend of mine was told he could no longer sing in the church choir where he had been a lifelong member because he was openly gay. My dad was also judged because he converted from Baptist to Catholic. I could go on and on.
When I relayed the story above to my son, Andrew, he told me about an episode of a show called American Gods where there were 12 different versions of Jesus. Why is that? Well, because each religion has their very own version of the man known as Jesus. Religions make him to be what they want him to be.
My question to you is; are you this judgmental? Would you end a relationship, end a friendship, stop watching a TV show, unsubscribe from a YouTube channel, delete a podcast, etc. if you found out the person in charge had a differing opinion from yours? They are the same person you have loved for many years. Nothing has changed other than their religious beliefs. Could you get past it or would you cut ties?
For the “most” part of course I would not end my relationship with someone who I care deeply about. But what you said about how some religious people are VERY religious can be judgemental, can be applied to many other categories too.
Example: Imagine I am a personal financial planner, with excellent credit score, values saving money (where possible, of course I’m human so I still splurge on this and that), think its important to save for your future and spend wisely. If I had a friend who changed and was my complete opposite, asked me for money all the time, didn’t support my same values to the point that they were making me spend more money, make jokes about being financially wise and etc, then at that point I could no longer be their friend OR I would reconsider our friendship.
Now I am also an atheist but I am very lucky to have a diverse set of friends who come from all religions. While I don’t personally have faith in them, I support my friends and understand that that is THEIR faith and I support THEM, not their faith.
I think religious relationships are a lot like political relationships. You have to know your audience. I believe if the Atheist is not trying to convert anyone or joke about religion in general, there should be no friction in the friendship.
Hi Tami! I LOVED this post. I couldn’t agree more with you and it’s a shame so many relationships and friendships are severed because of differing beliefs. I find differing beliefs SO interesting and makes my relationship with that person all the more special. How cool is it that you can have a dear friend, loved one, partner, etc with differing views? Differing views makes conversation more interesting. I’ve also learned how incredibly important it is to be tolerant–tolerant to all, including those who disagree with your beliefs. If people agree to disagree–and still love and cherish the relationships they have with friends/loved ones, the world would be so much better. So brave of you to post this and I enjoyed reading every word!
Love,
Sarah R. 🙂
Thank you so much! I have friends from every walk of life and I love them all. It’s so interesting (like you said) learning new things and hearing differing opinions about everything. It’s how we grow! Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Much love, Tami! ❤️ 😊
I specifically am a Tami stan because you come from such a different background. I think listening to people with a different context(but are still reasonable, smart people) is important to understand where others are coming from. everyone’s so submerged in their echo chambers, especially with the pandemic. It seems most pundits are tacitly screaming “you’re stupid, get with the program” instead of listening and responding in measure.
Yes, it is important to listen and allow people to express their feelings. I agree.
I am a Christian and very conservative in my political beliefs and I have a friend that I grew up with so she is like family to me that is now gay. I struggled with how to deal with our friendship now because when we are together we do not like to go to the same places or have the same interests any more. But I love her just as I always have and she will always be one of my closest and dearest friends regardless of her lifestyle . She also is on the complete opposite side when it comes to my political beliefs and we’ve had a few spats over things she’s said that hurt me but I will never end my friendship with her regardless. I do not like churches that try to tell you how to look or what to wear or tell you that you’re not welcome for this or that reason! A church is suppose to be the place you go and feel welcomed and loved. I wish people would just treat each other with love and respect no matter who they are or what they believe. I have a personal relationship with God and I don’t need a church for that. It saddens me that so many people are turning against Him all because of religion. I believe one day we will all stand before God and answer for our own sins, not the sins of others. I pray these people figure out that a personal relationship with God is so much more than religion before it’s too late.
I think it’s wonderful that she remains your best friend 🙂
I’ve lead a very privileged life, but would say that the most important bit of privilege I had growing up wasn’t a beautiful home or new cars or anything material, but rather that my mom and dad’s families came from very different places. As children, it’s very important to see that other folks might just do things differently. It’s not better or worse – it’s just different. Family or cultural traditions may seem different in practice, but often they serve similar purposes – whether it’s marking the calendar, celebrating family, honoring the living (or the dead). Last year I met a very conservative member of my dad’s distant family at a funeral, and she told me she just could never imagine traveling or living abroad (like I do). I said to her ‘you know, everywhere you go, it’s just people. We’re all just people trying to love, survive, do right by others, navigate our demons.’
You are so very right! Thank you for your comment!