From The Past: September 29, 2004

Why is it if someone invites you out to eat and you have to pay for it yourself, you come across as a killjoy if you decline the invitation?

If I have to pay for my whole family’s meal at a restaurant, then I want to make sure that I’m in the mood for it and that I can afford it; especially when the restaurant normally runs me $50. Why should I look bad if I say that I don’t want to go, but I will happily meet you after you get back home? I don’t think that I should.

Currently (2020): I can now tell you that this situation happened over and over again with my parents back in the day. They wanted us to go out to eat with them, but if we were paying and they chose a restaurant that we weren’t in the mood for or that we really didn’t enjoy, we would decline making them furious.

Even when they did offer to pay, if it was a restaurant that we didn’t like, we would decline. My opinion is this: Why should I spend my money or why should you spend your money on people who don’t even enjoy the food? That just doesn’t make sense.

If someone invited us to go to Applebees right now and said they would pay, we would decline the invitation because we know that we don’t like Applebees. Sure, we could find something to order; that’s not the problem. The problem is that their food is crap. I feel this way about many, many restaurants. I would just as soon stay home and eat a sandwich than go to Red Lobster. It’s just not for me.

You might wonder if I regret turning down invitations now that my mom is gone. I don’t. I think it’s best to be upfront and honest than to waste a meal, money and calories on poor food.