From The Past: July 22, 2004

We are in a bit of a conundrum and I would love any advice that any of you have to offer. Unfortunately, this is a long story that cannot be shortened, so try and stick with me if it sounds at all interesting.

For the last four years Andrew has had braces on his teeth. One of the requirements of wearing those braces is that you also have to wear headgear for 10 hours each day. This can be achieved during the early evening and sleeping hours.

Andrew wore the headgear for well over a year. I don’t want to get into the technical orthodontic speak here, so I will just say that he was constantly having breakages. It seemed like every week or once every two weeks I was taking him out of school and to Lexington to have something repaired. Each time Andrew went in with a breakage, we were asked what he had been eating. They accused him of eating things that would cause the breaks. Andrew and I both denied that he had eaten anything bad. They still shamed him and made him feel like he had done something wrong. They had that “we know better” attitude which always made me mad. It also angered me that we had to pay around $20 each time that this happened.

So, on one particular visit about a year ago, they mistakenly left a dab of cement in the ring where Andrew was supposed to be able to attach his headgear. Once we got home that night, it was discovered. This office is only open on Mondays and Wednesdays. This was a Wednesday so there was nothing that could be done about the cement until the following Monday. Andrew didn’t wear his headgear. Andrew also didn’t have any breakages. He made the connection right away with the headgear. He never liked it to begin with, but he knew that the headgear was what had caused all of the previous breakages. He also knew that money was getting put into their pockets each time that this happened. So, he decided that he wouldn’t tell them about the cement and he wouldn’t wear the headgear at all.

That was about a year ago. He still hasn’t broken anything. Each month the doctor asks him if he’s been wearing the headgear and he smiles and says yes. You might be wondering what they thought about him not breaking anything. Well, they thought that he had quit eating all that BAD food! I did try to tell them that it wasn’t the food he was eating. I also remember quite distinctly telling the nurse AND the doctor that I thought it was the headgear causing the breakages. They laughed at me.

Andrew and I have been the ones laughing for a year. We’ve been going in, Andrew says that he’s wearing his appliance and that’s that. That was until yesterday.

Yesterday the doctor told him that he was putting a chain on his teeth to push them back to the back of his mouth. He said that the headgear would keep the ones in the back in place so that they wouldn’t move back at the same time. So, here is our problem. Andrew has supposedly been wearing his headgear. If he was wearing it now, those teeth in the back wouldn’t have a chance of moving back. Since he’s not wearing it, the teeth could possibly move back where they are not supposed to be.

Why don’t we just fess up and tell the doctor the truth? We are wimps. But also, because he could tell us that we breached the contract which says that we have to do whatever he says is necessary. He is responsible for giving Andrew a retainer once the braces come off. We want to make sure that he will do all that we have paid him to do.

We have discussed Andrew taking in the headgear and saying that he can’t put it in for some reason. They wouldn’t necessarily know when it was that the problem started. But then he would start having the breakages again.

I am to the point right now where I am saying to heck with the headgear and to heck with what happens. Andrew has had these braces for four years and he wants them off. I don’t think that he cares one bit what his teeth look like anyway. Mind you, we will not be telling the doctor the truth, but I can’t handle the scorn or the stress.

What do you think? Do you think we should have the headgear fixed and risk breakages again and again or do you think we should just leave things the way that they are and take our chances that some teeth may move? Help!

Currently (2020): I’m sure someone will ask me what happened with the situation detailed above. From what I can recall, we took the headgear in, and they got it back on his teeth. They never found out that Andrew went a year without wearing it though. He worse braces for FIVE years.