From The Past: December 17, 2003

Ten Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don’t Like

10. Hey! There’s a gift! I don’t think I have ever seen that particular color before.

9. Well, well, well … Will you just take a look at that!

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

4. I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think — I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

And the Number One Thing to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like

1. “I really don’t deserve this.”